Jonathan was straddled across a fence, the one that
ran through his soul. On one side was a colour portrait world he had hoped for,
while a hell train was speeding its way to oblivion on the other. He was a wise
one, life had revealed many hard lessons to this young man, but then destiny’s
cold hands had blindfolded him at times too. From where he was perched he
stared down, in disbelief, at the darkness inside of him. The small innocuous
fair weathered friends, he had let in, had transmogrified into demons,
travelling with him on the train. They sucked out time, peace of mind, good
will & patience from his life to fuel the locomotive. Life is too short for regret, he used to
believe, but he felt the pangs of remorse that night.
How these opportunistic friends gave hope, then
company & finally only pain & regret is something he’d never forget.
False hope is very taxing on a soul, especially when it promises a lot &
delivers only misery. Jonathan knew that he had to somehow get off this weird
journey. His resolve grew each day, as he counted on nothing but himself, no
friends, no family, no well wisher. Only God’s hands had saved his soul from
being desecrated & he kept praying for Divine guidance.
He leafed through his journal, looking for solace…Latin
phrases, movie quotes, song lines, random information, spiritual wisdom &
feelings that were too strong, all ended up in this old tattered book..
He read..Emotion
comes from the Latin word emovere, meaning to move out, move away.
Like what he was feeling now, most emotions force us
to move out, to walk away towards peace, joy, & love. He knew he had to walk
away from what he was feeling, because it was stopping him from breathing, from
living, from hoping & loving.
As long as he was on this train he was destined for
hell, to be honest, this was hell on a rail track moving way too fast!! Jonathan
knew he had to jump off this train right now, & clutched his journal &
leaped. He bled as he rolled over prickly bushes, mud & slime, but he
couldn’t feel any pain. Maybe years on the locomotive had numbed him, or maybe
pain was all he really felt?! He lay there badly bruised, covered in dirt for a
whole night. The morning rain came crashing down mercilessly.
He was badly bruised, wet, alone, but at least he was
away from the demons & off that train. Jonathan opened his bruised eyes
& stared at the sky. The rainy clouds slowly drifting away like grey
plastic bags blown away by the wind across the serene welkin. Jonathan rolled
on the wet ground, & under a tree he lay for hours. Regret ricocheted
through his soul. ‘Why didn’t I do this
earlier?’, He kept asking himself!!!
Though this young man was in unbearable pain & had
no clue as to where he was bound, he felt relieved on realizing that he was not
going towards the wrong destination at breakneck pace. The demons had gotten too close to him but Jonathan wished they'd realize that they didn't belong on that hell train. He opened his muddy journal
& broke into a half smile, as he read on…
“One of the
greatest gifts we can offer people is to embody nonattachment and nonfear. This
is a true teaching, more precious than money or material resources.”- Thich
Nhat Hanh
⛅⛅⛅
In life the right
decision can turn sour, if you follow it up with stupid ones. Mistakes can
masquerade as hurdles on the right path, when they’re actually sucking you into
an abyss of confusion & misery. When you feel that things are going against
you in every way possible, you must be willing to make amends, even if
everything’s at stake…
